A fear, to none...

So, I have this fear right now...that I won't exactly make it to where God wants me; that I'll miss it somehow; I won't quite make the mark. Growing up in church, I would see and hear of teenagers and young adults who stopped going to church; then, I was afraid that when I got to that age, I would do the same, that I wouldn't stick with the faith and 'keep trucking along in the Lord.' By the grace of God, I stand here today able to say that my fears were never realized then. And, I pray, by faith, that I will be able to say that about this fear as well. I want to make it to that place that God desires for me to be; I want to be that person, that servant of His, to carry out His good and perfect will. I'm afraid of messing up, but I am reminded that He can work because of my mistakes and through my mistakes. And, in doing so, He continually is molding me into the person He has designed me to be. Why do I fear? Why do I worry? Simple lack of faith, human nature...probably. But there is someone greater who holds the world in the palm of His hand, who has created me in His image, who has called me (and you) blessed and highly favored, His child...and in Him, is everything. And there steps in the trust and the faith...not in myself, because I am only human, flawed, imperfect...but in Him. "For in Him we live and move and have our being." ~ Acts 17:28a

That's it...that's all I need to know. That's all I should rely on, all that holds me up - the blessed assurance and confidence in knowing that the Lord of hosts holds my destiny. If I just hold onto Him, to "seek Him first" and "all these things shall be added" (Matthew 6:33), then what should I worry about? To run to Him, that is where I need to go.

I am reminded: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." ~ Philippians 4:6-7 So, why worry, offer it up to Him and let the fear subside. And His amazing peace...incredible...let's me know that it's all going to okay, every last detail. He will make it beautiful in His time.

"And I am sure that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6

" Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." ~ Hebrews 12:1-2

To hold onto Him, to seek Him first and to fear not, for He is with me and will never leave me or forsake me...and the same to you.

Be blessed today,
Jezz

That's poor..

I haven't updated in a week...that is poor. Shame on me...

Anywho...so today is fall break, and I am at home because of a fun paper that I have the privilege of writing for class...yay. One page down, two more to go...single-spaced is great! Last night was the Jeremy Camp, Building 429 and some dude with the last name of Watts concert! It rocked my face off!!! I discovered that I now have good head banging hair...yay! I enjoyed the concert though...definitely helped my spirits with the whole I-didn't-get-to-leave-Abilene-during-fall-break blues.

Enough of that. Tonight's the big Abilene Cooper game, and I'm so not gonna be there. I think I've grown out of it or something. Just doesn't really interest me a whole lot. It's a shame really, oh well...good luck coogs! So, my e-mail and all the ACU whatnot is going to be down this weekend...no incoming e-mail :( I suddenly feel partially disconnected from the world (it's not like I don't have another e-mail account, aim, a phone, a car...you get the idea). Sometimes you just want to get onto my acu to make sure you have enough chapel credits or that your uniprint balance isn't strangely diminishing...just for peace of mind. Oh until Sunday night or Monday morning, then I can log on as jdg02b and be happy once more...he he he

Have you heard??? Pledging is OVER!!! yay! and there was much rejoicing. I was getting real tired of it and quick...but it's done. Everyone's in club...now for more socials to commence...ugghh, that just means find more dates to go to the social and pay money for the social, but you get dinner and a cool t-shirt. Welcome to club. Meanwhile, in band land...Band retreat is in 21 days!!! I'm sure hungry for some shepherd's pie. Woe to you who cannot go..sad dagger. I guess I should find a camera to use for the weekend. I'm so excited!!!

So, the meaningless drivel is going to end now. I will return later with something a little more in depth and thought provoking...now back to some military public affairs, yipee!
Be blessed today,
Jezz

Jamfest...

Watching Jamfest tonight and soaking it all reminded me of those times before...of listening to music and more music and more music. Yesteryear...the days of Godstock, superChristbuffet, the Peacemakers, hey even twocentson (That wasn't very long ago, or was it?). That really makes me happy :) It's the music: the sounds, the emotions, the passion, the utter "yay-ness" of it all. The wonder of music!

"The music lifts me and takes me to a whole other place that I can only dream about...not the music, but the Lord. Because it is, after all, He who brings this passion and fire inside of me: the melodious flame that burns a heavenly song to the Most High God." ~ excerpt from the diaryland account: gsusrulzme.diaryland.com

"My heart is stirred by a noble theme
as I recite my verses for the King;
my tongue is the pen of a skillful writer."
~ Psalm 45:1
so cool...

This weekend, or at least just Saturday, promises to be an eventful one. But, by the grace of God, I will make it through and have enough energy on the other side to write another paper...woo hoo! Still, there is nothing to complain about: I am blessed and highly favored, a child of God and joint-heir with Christ. The Lord has spoken His word of blessings, favor, peace, joy and love...these things which are promised to us by the very mouth of the God Almighty. And, they are true...because He cannot lie; He speaks only the uncompromising truth. The Most High God...amazing!

Be blessed today,
Jezz

The word...

Yay for a semi-relaxing weekend. Those are nice to have every once in a while...I take what I can get.

"Praise be to the LORD , for He has heard my cry for mercy. The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to Him in song." ~ Psalm 28:6-7

"For the director of music. A psalm of David. How long, O LORD ? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide your face from me? How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me? Look on me and answer, O LORD my God. Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, "I have overcome him," and my foes will rejoice when I fall. (wait for it...here comes the redemption...) But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation. I will sing to the LORD , for He has been good to me. " ~Psalm 13

Those words are better than any that I can jot down...Be blessed in the Lord for He is good!
Jezz

Update and whatnot...

It's been a few days...cow pinatas that moo converted into hats make me happy...so, Alpha Kai Omega grub was Friday night. Fun times...my friend and I dressed up like ducks. Yay! Several of us went to the TLN afterwards and watched Toy Story 2, got a sticky bat stuck to the ceiling and spilled alot of water. Out of control, that's all I have to say about that.

Two more weeks of pledging and I'm trying to be a good kai-o and call these new members back so they can have a visit with me...I hate having such a busy schedule, but I love it all at the same time...so weird. Next week's gonna be pretty busy, yay for Homecoming! Then, the week after, I'm gonna try to basically get every day off from American Eagle since I have something potentially planned for every night...then Friday October 29, it's fall break!!! Woo hoo! I think Tark and I, and others, are planning on going to Corpus for the weekend...fun times...ummm...you should come.

Fall break = :) Okay, so maybe it's just one day, but, hey, at least it's a day. We'll have a three-day weekend and then come back for more school...and Sadies week begins that Thursday...ummm...no pressure. *random thought that will remain in my head right now* ya

So, today I got to swing at the park and look up into the Windows XP blue sky surrounded by Kai-os - three of my favorite things! It was really exciting. I absolutely love going to the park just to swing on the swings. There's something about that that makes things better for that moment in time. I can close my eyes and find a child-like peace...it's great. I wish I could do it more often.

Something I found this week, I love the word of God!!!
"I am still confident of this:
I will see the goodness of the LORD
in the land of the living.
Wait for the LORD ;
be strong and take heart
and wait for the LORD . " ~ Psalm 27:14

I will wait on You, Lord!
Be blessed today and enjoy it because He has made it!
Jezz

A little tid bit...

So yesterday, I saw the Windows XP blue in the sky, and it made me really happy!!! That's my favorite!

Things are looking up this week!

Be blessed in the Lord in all that you put your hand to this week,
Jezz

Beautiful...

It has been a beautiful day...of course it has been full of its blahs, but the Lord has made this day...so it's gonna be a beautiful. I most definitely had a rough time realizing that last week. It seems like everything that could've gotten me down did...and by the end of the week, I was either dillusional or cynical about anything and everything. Let's just say I didn't like my attitude at all...que feo! I pray that my efforts to change that attitude this week will be fruitful...by God's grace!

I'm here at Java City supposedly studying...but it's nice to come here and "get away."

Tomorrow proves to be an eventful day beginning at 6:45 a.m. with a pledging activity, a test at 7 a.m., another at 9:30, then work on FilmFest stuff along with classes, and then at 9:05 p.m. Sing Song hostess auditions. I'm still a bit amazed that I'm actually going through with this, but I am...and I think it'll be fun...hopefully, the Lord will use this time for whatever He can use it for (if that makes sense).

I leave you with this: "All God's children singing glory glory He reigns" ~ Newsboys

Let the joy of the Lord be your strength (and mine!)
Be blessed today,
Jezz

A while...

It's been a while...just writing to say it's been a while...
I'll get back to it later today...at Java City!!! woo hoo!

Be blessed,
Jezz

So here it is...

Settling some things in my heart...the Lord is good!
"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things." ~ Colossians 3:2

Something that was on my heart this summer; I found it about two minutes ago...
I call it: so here it is...
It's a daily remind of my humanity/And my struggles last Tuesday at three/The weight of the choices and mistakes I've made/Bear down on me for all to see/I've tried to make it vague/And say that I'm all right/But who believes my words//
I put myself on the line/Laying it all out/Screaming my questions to the void/Every candid emotion and each passing thought/All thrown out to he void/Will you listen?/Do you listen?//
I'm not some sort-of hero/No great theologian or master of faith/No best sellers or Pulitzers on display/Just the words and lines on my heart/I only know of who gets me through today/Evidence of Him garnshes each rambling page/It's there for all to see//
Do you listen to the tears I cry at night/And the smiles that shine in the morning/Do you listen to the soft-spoken words that I say/Do you read between the lines???

A Saturday in itself...

ACU football today...games always tire me out for some reason...maybe it's being outside for nearly six hours; that could have something to do with it. We sure did lose, but life goes on.
But, at the game, I sure did treat a friend badly...and maybe not so much in actions and words directed at them (although it may have manifested itself in actions), but in thoughts and a few words to others. And for that, I apologize...it's wrong, and I don't know why I did it...frustration, maybe just being stupid...but it's not right either way. So, even if you did know or not, I'm sorry...please forgive me *Breaks out into song* And to myself: take heed to the word of the Lord:
" Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." ~Proverbs 4:23

I think I need to take a Jesiree day...just a day for me to spend time alone and with the Lord, to put aside everything - all the stresses go away (yes, that includes homework, classes, work, boys, etc.) and just have time to regroup. Not to say that I'll be an emotional mess if I don't, Because that's not something that I think I'll let happen (by the grace of God). I just need time to refocus...but finding the time to have time to do that...that's a different story. The Lord will provide.

Tonight my prayer goes out to all you who need that time alone and with your Creator. I pray that you find Him in that place in that moment in time...may peace and joy and restoration to your soul be there.
"You will keep in perfect peace
him whose mind is steadfast,
because he trusts in you." ~ Isaiah 26:3
And, for my friends who are mourning, hurting and just having trouble standing, let God be your strength and your song...
" Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will make your paths straight." ~ Proverbs 3:5-6

Think on Him tonight,
Jezz

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." ~ Philippians 4:8

In love with Him...

To be in love with the most high God; to be captivated by the Lord of hosts and King of kings; to fix my eyes on Him and never turn away...I want to fall in love with Him again - my Creator, Redeemer and Friend...

My heart longs, burns, for my One true love to fill the void in my soul. No one else can bring me fullness as you can, my King. How I ache for your overwhelming love to burst into my soul; for it is only You that I need. I've spent countless times searching for that other to be my completion, when you are my completion. You are my reason for all...You are the only One I adore. No one else can can be what You are to me. So, I won't look anymore. I can't find the fulfillment that I need on my own. Be thou my vision, Oh Lord.

Jezz

"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things." Colossians 3:1-2

Excerpt from gsusrulzme.diaryland.com aka the archives...