yummy...

mmm...kiwi and strawberries...yum yum

I finally wrote my letter to the new heads today. I got it done mainly because they needed the packets to mail by tomorrow. If only I can get the old head letter done now...soon enough, child, soon enough.

The internship is going well. I've had the opportunity to get my hands dirty on some neat projects and work with new programs, etc. I haven't made it to the hospital cafeteria yet, although I do know where it's at! It looks promising though. Have I mentioned that the hospital is ginormous, and I get lost quite easily. As I was coming back from lunch yesterday, a doctor asked me if I was lost...just because I passed by him and then turned right around because I passed by the elevators too doesn't mean I'm lost...just didn't see the elevators, or something like that. Working at a hospital is pretty interesting...like finding bathrooms; it's rather difficult. And then there's the whole being around sick people thing. Yesterday one of the ladies in the office didn't want to leave to go to the bathroom because there was a patient and a nurse outside with masks on. That means the patient is contagious...I don't blame her. Oh well...God takes care of us. He's good like that...it really is amazing.

Speaking of God being amazing...Nathan comes back in 3 days...yippee!!! You're probably wondering what that has to do with God being amazing, but I promise you, it has everything to do with that.

Anyway, I hope you have an amazingly blessed day. "Taste and see that the Lord is good." He really is...

Jezz

Intern...

I got an internship working at Hendrick Medical Center in the Community Relations department for the rest of this summer. (woot!) yay, I can fully graduate in May with no worries of an internship to complete. I was surprised to see how much the department at Hendricks does in PR and advertising. It's gonna be fun...yay. and, it costs me all of about nothing...that's wonderful. Sure, I don't get paid, but I also, most likely, won't get any less hours at AE, I'm still in Abilene, and for lunch, I can go home, or pack a lunch with mommy and eat at her work...yippee. God always has a way of making things work out. And, what's more: even though it's a bit late in the summer to start an internship, it works out exactly that I will get my required hours by the time I have to be back for leadership workshops and whatnot and still be able to take a week off for camp. God truly does provide. It was an unexpected twist, definitely not in my plans. But what God has given me in this is incredible. And, I know that He's gonna bless me immensely through this. He closes doors to open others for us.

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" - Jeremiah 29:11

The comforting words of familiar scripture are resounding truth. Be glad today, and be blessed,
jezz

slacker...

and then this one time, i realized that i was a big slacker in the whole updating your blog thing...if only i had more to say than this...maybe later?

be blessed,
jezz

yay baseball...

VBS is over...lots of kids, kool-aid smiles, wild animal snacks (yummy) and the like are put away for the year. Until next year...then we will meet again.

Slated for tonight: Braves vs. Rangers at Ameriquest Field in Arlington...yippee! yay for baseball.

That's it for now, I think...I'm hungry and am in need of some breakfast. More later...maybe something deep and philosophical to turn those brain wheels. If not, don't hold it against me.

Be blessed...and remember, God really is bigger than the boogey man, and absolutely everything else.

Jezz

VBS...

Vacation Bible School is upon me...I'm tired. more later...maybe...I make no guarantees.

Be blessed,
Jezz

Work in progress...

Do you ever notice how music can draw out memories and emotions from times past? Or how with just listening to a song or a line, you're there, again, in that place...in the same atmosphere that you were? Maybe it's just me...but it's oddly nostalgic. It's kinda like when smells take you back. (But that's for another blog-time and another blog-place.)

As I write this, I sit listening to the cd of the UIL band contest music from my junior year of high school. (Yes, I am a band nerd. You don't have to tell me that.) Until I heard the opening notes of the second piece (the three on two chime pattern of La Fiesta Mexicana...ya, I know some of you know what I'm talking about.) , I hadn't thought of the music or that time in my life in years. Probably suppressed memories of sorts or something...or maybe not. Maybe it was just innocently forgotten. Either way, here I am, reflecting on life as it was then and life at is now. And, I must say: God has taken me such a long way. It's truly amazing. And, I don't just speak musically, although He has. I think of who I was and where I was and, more distinctly, who I was then. Certainly not the person I am now. By God's grace, I'm not the same person. And, In four or five years from now, I, hopefully, will not be the same person.

"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." - Philippians 1:6
He's still working, every day, to make you and I into the people that He wants us to be. And, He's not gonna stop until we see Him in glory. He hasn't given up, and He will never give up. That's comforting and exciting all at the same time!

I hope you have an amazing and wonderful day!
Be blessed,
Jezz

"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God. " - Philippians 1:9-11

A new way...

Besides the annoyance of ad pop-ups and frequent boredom, today has been a good day. No rain today, as was forecasted...but last night, it just fell out of the sky...it was like a ginormous bucket of water with crushed ice (like ice from Sonic in proportion to the ginormous bucket) was dumped over select parts of Abilene. It was kinda cool. Today was pretty much uneventful aside from my interview at Hendrick Medical Center with their community relations for an internship. It went well...more later...

I think what's been weighing pretty heavily on my mind for about the past 15 minutes (okay, maybe a bit longer) is the changing character of my blog entries. When I first started this blog, life was very much different, and entries were a reflection of what was inside my little head, but not much of what was going on to spur on the thoughts, questions and revelations. Lately, it's been more of the outer circumstances, the "physical" happenings of my life. Now, I'm not saying that either is good or bad...but neither is complete. The former doesn't paint a complete picture. If you don't know what's going on in my life physically, then how does the spiritual and emotional aspect matter to anyone? But the latter doesn't give much insight into how I'm really and truly handling life's twists and turns...so here's my proposed solution that I will hopefully carry out. (It occurs to me now that many of you, if any of you, would really care about any of this. I'm surprised that you've actually followed my thought processes this far. But, if you do care, thanks for humoring me.) A full picture of both the physical and the emotional/spiritual together...because what does it matter to people if you offer solutions, but don't tell them the problems they'll solve; or if you only present questions and show the result of answers, but never tell them the answer or how to get to it?

"Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone. " - Colossians 4:2-6

Be blessed today,
Jezz

Hibernation...

So lately I've been sleeping around 10 hours every night. Before you judge...it hasn't been continuous sleep...just keep that in mind. No, instead I've been waking up randomly and, by the grace of God, falling back to sleep. I'm digging this sleep pattern though. I'm okay with it. I consider it catching up after the school year is over. On average, I only got about five hours of sleep every night...that's not very healthy in my book. So, you could kind of consider this as my "hibernation" period. I am the cuddly bear who, for the summer, likes to rest...alot. Give me a break, I do enough during the school year to make normal people (and myself at extreme points of weakness) have nervous breakdowns. So, give me my sleep, my bed, my pillow and my stuffed dog Rachi, and hear the rhythmic breathing of the fallen asleep! And when I rise, I will awake and refreshed. I'll run a mile or two, do some crunches and eat some protein. Then I am geared up for a day on the couch wil abc family...or a day shopping...or a day with my dog...or a day playing guitar...or a day doing whatever floats my boat or toots my flute!

Rest...it is absolutely priceless. Never take it for granted!

Be blessed,
Jezz

ADD...

In the search for the old school Star Wars Trilogy boxed set...I have failed. The search shall continue tomorrow...frankly I just want to watch the old school ones so I can put some pieces together. We have episode I, but I can't bare to watch cute little Annikin, whom I just saw turn into ugly face head. Anyway...my legs hurt; I'm tired; and I want to take off my contacts. So, I'm cutting this entry short for lack of attention span...more later, of course.

Be blessed,
Jezz

There's a goal...

So Wednesday night was fun...I nearly fell asleep during a Pillar concert (fyi...they're a Christian rock band.) Pillar, John Reuben, Dizmus and Burgundy Road was a long concert. Dizmus had one guy that would only scream those regurgitation screams every time he stepped up to the mic...don't worry, they all screamed regurgitation screams in Dizmus. John Reuben did the whole bring your arm straight up and raising it up and down with the beat of the music; you know, the whole white rapper, eminem type thing...but he did it so quickly, it was amazing. (I tried to do it, but I almost strained something...hehe.) I was slightly disappointed that Thousand Foot Krutch didn't exactly make it to the concert as they were supposed to...oh well, I didn't have to listen to "Rawkfist." Phew!

After doing some shopping and gardening on Thursday, I thought I would have a good night's sleep since I was exhausted, but...no! I went to bed at 11 p.m. and woke up around 1:56 a.m., tried to go back to sleep, but with no luck by 2:21 a.m., it was time for the Food Network. Anywho, I was up until about 4 a.m., then "napped" until 6:15 a.m. and went to work at 8 a.m. Such is life...I tried taking a nap this afternoon, but I couldn't go to sleep. Star Wars tonight...finally...at 9:35 p.m. Hopefully, I'll stay awake throughout the show. I don't think I'll have too much of a problem.

Well...Braves are playing the Bo Sox right now, so me and my new little stuffed dog Rachi (that's short for Rachmaninoff) are gonna, maybe, catch some shut eye...Until we meet again:

"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 3:10-14

That's all that matters...the heavenly things. Life and all that is in it is about Jesus Christ. He is everything. What's behind doesn't matter; What's ahead is in His hands...work for Him; work toward Him. His arms are open wide.

Be blessed,
Jezz

Chewy...

Chewbacca was on Regis and Kelly yesterday morning...what a wookie. Apparently he has a wife named Malla and a son named Lumpy. Who knew? Way excited to see him on the big screen sometime this week! Woo hoo!

The grandparents barbecued...so it looks like I have lunch. yippee! Food calls, more later.

Be blessed,
Jezz

one a day...

I've decided to learn how to play all facets of guitar in the next hour...and to update this thing at least once a day again...my fingers hurt.

Be blessed,
Jezz

Strength in weakness...

I've cried until I felt like my heart could explode - until there's absolutely nothing left in me, even unto the depths of my being. You say he's leaving only for six weeks...nothing more, nothing less. But for me, part of me is leaving with him - a part that I cherish beyond so much else in this world - and I don't get to have that part of me for what seems a very long time. That breaks my heart. I've never been one to really cry, but these tears keep flowing, more than I count, flooding my soul. Even now, I miss him more than I have ever known...and I know alot about missing people.

I'm trying so hard to be strong, please understand that. My strength is not my own though, and you should know that by now - that I draw from a source far deeper and wider and more powerful than anything I could ever conjure up.

And here it is:
"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." - 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

All that I cling to, I lay at His feet...six weeks will come and go.

And if you have no sympathy or simply feel like what I am saying is in no way genuine, authentic, real or relevant and is a waste of your time, then this post was not for you. No remorse from me though; you won't get any. Because, you see, this is the depths of my soul. This is how I feel. This is how my heart aches. This is what is affecting me here and now. This is what is deep within me. And, if this doesn't interest you, then stop reading. This is all I have. This is me.

Be blessed,
Jezz

one last final...

Awaiting the onslaught of my last final, yay for PR Writing...not really, I'm not the most enthusiastic child about Dave's classes. (If you don't know what or who I'm talking about, don't worry about it. Let's just say, it's not my favorite class or professor.) So, once this is done...IT'S OVER!!!

anyway...I'd better study...more later.

Be blessed,
Jezz

Five months, hooray...

Post number two for today...I'm catching up on the weeks of zero posts :)

I'm still working on learning guitar. I just can't seem to get passed any key other than G. Good news though, the keys (did I just say that? that's so 80s. I might as well buy a key-tar, yes!) are still comin' on strong, and in some circles, I'm considered pretty decent on bass...whatever.

I'm intent on doing whatever God has for me in my life...and, honestly, I don't know where that's gonna take me. There are so many things that I want to do, that I could do, but what am I supposed to do? What is it that He has set aside specifically for me? I wonder that, alot...But, I trust that He'll show me in His time. I just have to prepare myself for whatever He may bring my way.

btw...happy five-month, Nathan!

Be blessed today,
Jezz

Semester 6 = finished...

Ya, I know it's been a while...what can I say? It's the end of the semester, and, at this moment, facebook is distracting me...it's taking away all my attention that was due to the bloggity blog blog and putting it on itself! Bad facebook...

As I mentioned, it is the end of another semester here at Abilene Christian University. Six down, two to go. I can't believe it. Is it really almost over? Am I really a senior (of course, I have to pass all my classes, actually just one credit hour, from this semester to be a senior. But we all know how meticulous I am about my grades...so ya)? I guess so...it's been a great ride so far. Classes were good this semester. It was probably the hardest semester yet, but I guess that's what you've gotta expect for upper-level classes and whatnot. Just wait until next year...(evil laughter)...

So, trying to work out the logistics of this summer have been somewhat of a mess. With more than half of my finals behind me, I still don't know if I'm staying in town or hitting the road for an internship. Granted, I'll know by the end of the week, but, man, that just seems like it's cutting it close. And, if I do go, I feel so unprepared right now. But, the Lord will provide. I know that God has this whole summer planned out for me. He knows exactly where I'm going, what I'm doing and how I'm getting there. So here's where I stop worrying and start trusting...answers will come in due time.

As this semester comes to close, I bid you all happy trails...until we meet again.

Be blessed in all you do,
Jezz

Another one passes by...

With one more week left in the semester...I'm swamped. Projects and presentations in every class have taken over my life. But, this too shall pass...

Internship prospects have been narrowed down and one will possibly come through...yay. I have an interview with the Gospel Music Association as an intern working with registration and other aspects of the Music in the Rockies festival/event thingy July 31 through August 6. Definitely cutting it close for band stuff and whatnot...since I'm kinda required to be back in town for drum major stuff (granted that I'm drum major again next year) on the 8th. The internship will last through the whole summer...kinda cool, kinda bummed...I'll be honest.

"Why bummed?" you ask. Well...you see, I'll be missing several weddings that I really wanted to go to, TJ's graduation, I'll probably have to see Star Wars in the theater by myself, definitely won't be able to go to Discovery Camp with the 180 kiddos, three months away is just a long time, and I won't be there to welcome back my Nathan when he comes home from Germany...and I won't see him for another month and a half after he's back in the country. That's rough. But, that too shall pass. I'll see him in due time...and God will bless our time apart, and it'll be more than okay.

I know if I get the internship, it'll be good for me. I'll spend a bit of time away (which, btw, please be praying for me that I can find a good, cheap place to stay in Nashville. And, if you know of anywhere that I could say, please let me know!) and be on my own for a while...that's good for me.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28
And it goes on to say "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:37-39

There's always comfort in knowing that God has things taken care of...that His will will be manifested in our lives and through our lives. What's to worry about? He makes all things beautiful in His time. He's our strength in our weakness, deliverer in our bondage, provider in our need, healer in our sickness, friend in our lonliness...our everything in our every want. He is all.

Be blessed today in the Lord,
Jezz

Trust...

Sometimes when you think you're at your lowest and circumstances have gotten you way down...that's when you have to trust the most.
Today has been one of those days...little things have seen to pour out on me, creating one pile of mess. And, to be honest, I really don't know where to go from here. I, myself, cannot do a single thing anymore. My efforts are all useless and in vain. I alone cannot accomplish anything...
But by the grace of God, I trust that He will do exceedingly, abundantly above all I can ask or imagine. He never ceases to amaze me, and I don't think He'll slack off on me now...

So today, I will trust. Tomorrow I will see that He did come through...He is God.

Be blessed,
Jezz

Perfect peace...

So who knew Darby "the Darbster" Hewitt was in the Fall 2004 issue of the ACU Today...really, he's there on page 26...that little stud...

And, life's been pretty hectic lately...or at least the past couple of days. It's one of those weeks where everything just seems to pile up all at the same time (or in this case, the same 48-hour span). And, it's not that I haven't had one of these experiences before; I've actually endured them many times before. It's just that I haven't had very much stress weighing down on me lately, so to have it all come at once makes it really tough...
Not to mention, I'm pretty much infamous for trying to take it all on at once, to be "Supergirl," so to speak. I fly around here and there, never staying long enough to see the rest of the story unfold, just long enough to do my part and leave. "Don't worry. I can take care of it. No, I don't need any help. Yes, I can have it done by then. It's not a problem." - my infamous words..."I can do it on my own." Mainly not to let others worry about it....but what I do instead, especially in times like these, is begin to worry myself. I anguish and stress about it all...all on my own...and normally, I don't want you to know about it..."I can do it myself."

But...I can't. And it usually takes that time of "too much" for me to realize it. So last night as I distractedly worked on scriptures for students, on blessings given to students by faculty members - those who are older, wiser and more knowledgeable in the ways of life and of the Lord - to encourage students and prepare them for life, I didn't even notice the call to action in those scriptures. The word of God was screaming at me, right in between my eyes, but I never noticed; I never thought twice about it...until last night, until I couldn't think anymore, until the confusion of anxiety plagued at every waking thought, when every breath was heavier than the one before...He reminded me:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7

Oh how we forget sometimes. How life tends to take a hold of us and throw us around, and we forget that we're grounded in a God that's greater than all of these...and, we don't have to be thrown around. We can stand firm in the middle of the storm and walk on...unshaken, undisturbed, and through the torrential winds of the storm, every hair in its perfect place. That's how firm and steady we can be in Christ. Instead of flailing in the wind, we simply work diligently to accomplish all that is in front of us, to take each step in faith and work as unto the Lord and not to men.

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because He trusts in You." - Isaiah 26:3

Be blessed,
Jezz

I like Raisinets...

Yay it's Friday! But, then again, I'm working for 11 hours today...so is there really that much reason to celebrate the weekend, since it most likely will not begin until Saturday...and then my Sunday afternoon/night routine of doing my Ad Creativity and Copywriting (ahhhhh scary) homework will commence soon thereafter.

Anyway...the intensive search for an internship has begun...yay for e-mailing random companies. FYI: a 160-hour academic internship is required for my degree in order for me to graduate. Therfore, no internship = no degree...ouch. I sent five shot-in-the-dark inquiries to random companies in the Christian music industry this morning. We'll see...in good timing, it will come.

Meanwhile...I'll pop my Raisinets, chug my Dole 100% orange juice and work my little tail off.

btw...go to www.theeverglow.com weeee! yay for mae and the fun games!

YAY!!! so i just got an e-mail back from one of my shot-in-the-dark inquiries!!! Does that mean I have to listen to Kids in the Way now? I think it's time for some celebratory Monk and Neagle.

Be blessed today,
Jezz