You found me...

I think I was just thrown into this...it just fell into my lap. Didn't expect it; didn't see it coming...obviously, I'm a bit freaked out about it...about him...not freaked out in a bad way either...I guess freaked out gives a negative connotation. Freaked out in the sense of not being prepared. I don't like to be caught off guard, to not know what's coming up next. I want to be able to see it from afar and prepare for anything and everything. But, sometimes I can't always be prepared. God won't always tell him in advance another element in His plan, and I certainly can't put on my special God-goggles to see those plans for myself.

That's just what happened this time around. I didn't see him coming. I honestly didn't recognize an even remote possibility that someone would jump into my life quite like he did just now...or even while I'm still in college. Nevertheless, he did. I was perfectly happy with letting go of any dating notion and dealing with my "fear of commitment," only to find out that the "fear of commitment" was just a fear of something new, something different. And, he's definitely challenging that...he's challenging my fear of someone new, because he's very new to me in the grand scheme of things. But it's almost as if I've known him forever...isn't that how it usually is? But here's the best part: I've been told to not look. When you least expect it, when you're not looking and actively waiting, there he'll be. And, you won't have to go find him...no...he finds you. That's how it is: he finds you. That's how it's supposed to be. Sure enough, I didn't expect it. And I certainly wasn't looking anymore; I gave up, completely (and cynically) quit to be honest. And that is when, the time that I most definitely least expected it, he showed up.

I think, therein, lies my issue. Because I didn't expect it at all and was prepared to live a while (maybe even forever; yes, I even toyed with that idea) without someone by my side (to be known as "the single one"), I became a bit skeptical...doubts filled my head. Is this really what I want, what I need, and, most importantly, what the Lord has? To be honest, I didn't know what to do; I was flippin' out scared... But, it's all there in front of you, Jesiree. Don't you see it? He's a blessing, a gift...just as he should be...from the Lord Almighty. Don't over-scrutinize it. Don't over-analyze it. But, accept it. Don't miss out this wonderful blessing from the Lord.

So thank you, Nathan, for shaking my world up a bit and not being a part of my plans and my expectations...but being a part of His. Thanks for seeing passed the "old," weird nerd and finding the wanna be rocker and author (among other things)...for finding me. I'm excited to see what the Lord has in store. Thank you for being a blessing.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. " ~Isaiah 55:9
" Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." ~Ephesians 3:20-21

May the Lord bless you and keep you,
Jezz