Dr Pepper, you're a part of me...

So, this is what sleep deprivation feels like...
I don't know if I could have prevented my late-night homework time, but nevertheless, it did happen. I am pleased to announce that I did, however, finish my digital audio studio design...but, to be quite honest, I still am not exactly sure how it all works. I guess we'll see. Aside from giving myself awful muscle cramps last night from stretching while I was asleep, the little sleep that I did get was rather pleasant...dreaming of TRS cables, control surfaces with USB connections and wondering if I really needed Mackie studio monitors, well, I'm not sure if that was "pleasant." By brain was definitely working on overtime last night, and now it's pretty much fried. Hopefully I'll get through my classes today though. I still have to present my studio and explain it to the class today; that should be fun... It's times like these when I thank God for caffiene and Dr Pepper; it is a blessing.

Yay for my Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles t-shirt! I'm not thinking very clearly anymore, so I'm just gonna end it right here for now. Something more coherent and meaningful is soon to come!

Be blessed in the Lord today,
Jezz

Thankful...

Today I am thankful for:

• pocket tissues
• cold and sinus medicine that makes you oblivious to everything around you,
• free bottled water
• oranges that don't match
• glasses to wear when your eyes won't let you stick your finger in them to place a foreign object (although, I do miss my contacts)
• milk and cereal bars, warm fleece hoodies
• inspiring music, including the music of Billy Joel...thanks Nathan!
  
• Band-Aid brand adhesive bandages
• and the Great Physician, God Almighty, Jehovah Jireh-the Lord will provide, who takes care of every need

Be blessed today...and be thankful!
Jezz

"God's voice thunders in marvelous ways; He does great things beyond our understanding." - Job 37:5

Simply put...

"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." - Psalm 28:7

May that be the anthem of my life...

Be blessed today,
Jezz

Decisions, decisions...

Saturday February 12, 2005: do I go to Dallas to see Relient K, Mae and someone else? or do I go to Lubbock to Steven Curtis Chapman, Chris Tomlin and Casting Crowns? man...that's a tough decision, especially since the day before/that morning is Moody Weekend. But, in theory, I can go to both concerts with plenty of time to spare. I just don't know if I'll get sleep. I can't pass any of these opportunities up. Do you know how excited I was to find out that Mae and Relient K were touring together? It's almost like a dream come true...it's beautiful! omg...I'll keep you posted on that one...

Speaking of decisions...I made the decision this week to end my tenure as a sales associate at American Eagle Outfitters. It was a pretty tough decision, but this is what needs to happen. I have a peace about it, and for that I am grateful. I know that my time there was blessed, and I have enjoyed working there. I will most definitely miss the people...but when it's time to move one...it's time. I'm excited to see what the Lord has in store for me after this. I know that He will have beautiful and wonderful things come out of this decision.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD , "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11
I know I quote that verse often...but it is true...and it is a sure foundation to lean on. The promises of the Lord are true and forever.

"Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." - Psalm 37:4

The Lord is truly wonderful.

Be blessed in all you do today,
Jezz

Abundant blessings...

Yes, Jesiree, you agreed to do Sing Song this year…omg…so, the first Sing Song rehearsal was last night. I’m way excited about our music! Aside from the late-night rehearsals that may take away from my homework time and, more importantly, my sleep time (wait, they already have), it’ll turn out to be an enjoyable and memorable experience, provided that the Lord get me through it.

The first week of school is not even over yet…and I almost had one of my oh-my-gosh-I-have-way-too-much-on-my-plate-right-now-I-can’t-handle-this breakdowns; that was the second day of school. Strength and endurance are two things I’m definitely going to need this semester, but I know the Lord will provide. I was reminded that through it all, He is there. He is our strength, our fortress, our comfort:
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows." - 2 Corinthians 1:3
And, even more so, He has made us to overcome these obstacles, struggles, tests…hard times.
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” – Romans 8:37 In that there is hope; there is a renewed vigor to keep pressing on. He will see me through.

His blessings and goodness are in abundance around me. I cannot deny the awesomeness of the Lord and His everlasting care and provision for me. And, it’s funny; the song tells you to “count your blessings,” to “name them one by one,” but honestly, I can’t exactly name all of them one by one, because He has done so much. That includes some things that are far beyond my grasp. I can’t fully comprehend everything that the Lord is doing in my life (if I did, that wouldn’t make Him God…), but I know that He is working. And, that is a comfort and a joy beyond all measure.

Be blessed today in all you do,

Jezz

Beowulf revisited...

From the archives de diaryland...definitely one of my favorites. A real update will come later...I promise!

2004-01-16 - 9:55 a.m.

You would think with a name like "Beowulf" that he'd be the ugly monster that was killed by the beautifully handsome (would that be like a guilded lily?) hero in the Middle ages... But no, It was a name a creature with the name of Grendel that was subject the scrutiny of the community Beowulf protected. I imagine Grendel looked hideous, being a mixture of maybe that really ugly monster at the end of the technology/alien planet type level of Contra one (yes, the old school Nintendo version) and Trogdor the Burninator...not saying that Trogdor is ugly, but he is a dragon...Would the name Grendel scare you? It wouldn't scare me...I don't think it would at least. But, maybe if I lived in that magical/mythical community, I too would be terrified of the monster known as Grendel...

I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that. But, it was fun!

By the way, I'm still working on my Trogdor illustrations...it's coming along quite nicely actually. As for guitar and bass, yes, still picking away (but not on bass of course because I don't use a pick...

Have a great day!

Jezz

Heels and squeals...

The first day of my sixth semester at Abilene Christian University...it's great to be back. I admit, I was a bit lonely/bored here all alone in Abilene for the Christmas break month...it seemed like forever. But, forever is over. Yes!

So, after realizing that parking at the WPAC was a mistake (night class ending at 9:30 across campus in the Don Morris building of doom) and it being too late to park elsewhere especially with the new dorm going up and whatnot, I took the "long way" over to the Vanderpool building aka work which is also across campus. (I've decided that I intentionally park far from everything because I realize that it's the only way I'll get some form of exercise.) Walking across campus at ACU is just something else (especially on the first day of the semester). I was reminded of something that makes up much of the "ACU difference:" the sounds of heels and squeals of ACU females (okay, so maybe it doesn't...and, of course, does not apply to all ACU females...it's a stereotype, and I know it...) Meanwhile...I pitter-pattered along with my pastel pink bowling-esque shoes...hehe...I'm gonna stop right there.

Moving on...Band boot camp from the bad place (thanks Tark for the title) is now officially over. To be honest, it really wasn't from the bad place. I actually enjoyed it. Being herded from place to place for 12 hours a day and being fed so much until I felt like I had to unbutton the top of my jeans was a great experience...rehearsals were productive too. It's amazing what five days can do.

Randomness from the first day of classes::this is the first semester of me being in college without the brother::Spanish class in all spanish is a bit freaky::Yes, I already have homework::I've missed the Fat Cow::oh Steven Moore praise days...::I love ACU::

It'll be a blessed semester...God's good like that. He always takes care and provides His purpose and guidance in all that we do...no matter how miniscule and insignificant we think it may be. He is, after all, the God of EVERYTHING...blessed be the name of the Lord!!!

" For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD , "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13

Be blessed today in all you do,
Jezz

Bread...

I am the new owner of the best of bread cd...and I must say, I am uberexcited! It's like taking a trip down memory lane. I can still see the white and seafoam green tape with these same songs. It played regularly in my childhood; my dad's a big fan. Bread...they're grand...

So, band stuff starts tomorrow. I'm definitely ready for it all to begin again. I'm excited to see what the Lord has for this semester. I know that it will be more than I can ever imagine...He's a good God like that.

Off to listen to some more good oldies...as well as my new Monk and Neagle cd. It too is grand :)

Be blessed today,
Jezz

Stuff...

Finally, the director's cut of the critically acclaimed short film Dream Me is on the cutting room floor...hehe. I'm so excited. All the raw footage is captured including bloopers...yes, I'm still laughing at them to this day. We've decided to add commentary to the film as well. Of course, it will be done by none other than the members of the Dream Me Team...it's gonna be a fun one...oh the joy!

So, I'm watching the catharsis theory unfold before my very eyes. A mass game of Slayer in Halo 2 has grown men laughing the evil laughter in triumph over the dead and bloodied bodies of other players. Agression taken out by the mere enjoyment of a video game...I could go on, but I'll stop.

However, because of this Halo madness in my home, I am forced away from my computer home; they took my lan line to connect one of the xboxes to the internet...stinks. But...the laptop is mine, which means I'm free to roam the house as I watch That Thing You Do for the ten millionth time. Yes!

And, in less than a week, school basically starts up again. Wind Ensemble rehearsals have me on campus for 12 hours a day...at least I'll get to see everyone again! This break has definitely gone by pretty quickly. And, I must say, I don't think I've gotten much accomplished at all...or, rather, I haven't done much at all...except work. You gotta love retail in the holidays...

Happy New Year, and may the Lord bless you and keep you!
Jezz

Goodbye my little finned friend...

So I just had a fish funeral...yes, that's right...Fish finally kicked the bucket. After a year and a half or so of swimming in my little bowl with the pretty blue stones and the peace lily sucking up all of his water, he died...so, I flushed him down the toilet while humming Taps. What's sad is the fact that my brother actually bought him something for Christmas, but my poor, scaled friend didn't live to see that day ::tear:: Oh woe to the Fish...he was a good pet...

umm...ya...more later: this was just for me being a slacker and not updating.

Be blessed,
jezz

Faithfulness...

"Great is thy faithfulness/Oh God my father/There is no shadow of turning with thee/Thou changest not/Thy compassions they fail not/As thou hast been/Thou forever will be/Summer and Winter/Springtime and harvest/Sun, moon and stars in their courses above/Join in all nature in manifold witness/To thy great faithfulness/Mercy and love//Great is Thy faithfulness/Great is Thy faithfulness/Morning by morning new mercies I see/All I have needed Thy hand hath provided/Great is Thy faithfulness/Lord unto me//Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth/Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide/Your strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow/Blessings all mine with ten thousand aside//" ~ "Great is Thy Faithfulness"

I read it once about a woman who wanted that song played at her wedding as she walks down the aisle. What an extraordinary idea...because the faithfulness of the Lord is most definitely evident in that momentous occasion and will be throughout the rest of the marriage. But it's not just in that event that the Lord can show His amazing faithfulness...
So He's kinda been teaching me a bit more about His faithfulness. So many times I discount the fact that the Lord is truly on my side, pulling for me. But, His faithfulness to keep His promises and to "[work] for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose," (Romans 8:28) is forever and amen. He is always at work to be faithful for His children. He is truly wonderful.
I preached Wednesday night at oneighty abilene about Him being the foundation of our lives. (A spin-off of a November entry about glue sticks...it's amazing what ideas the Lord can bring through everyday things.) But through that sermon and that leap of faith for me, He has blessed me tremendously and has shown me the vastness of His love and faithfulness that extends to those who love Him and live for Him.

Experience the faithfulness of the Lord...open your eyes and see it! Great is Thy faithfuless, Oh Lord unto me...

Be blessed today in all you do,
Jezz

Graduation 2004...

I never realized how quickly time could fly...

It's the end of the semester, December 2004. My brother graduates from Abilene Christian University tomorrow night, and I've realized how quickly time has gone by. I never really imagined this day to come...and I know it's not my graduation, but it still hits pretty hard because we are so close. I'll be close behind, and I really cannot fathom that right now. It's a bit scary...oh, but to know that the Lord has it all in the palm of His hands, that's all I need. There's no need to fear; there's no need to worry. But find comfort and peace in knowing that the Lord has it all written out in His perfect and divine plan of love and grace for His children. He is truly good.

"I can't remember/when You ever failed me/situations change or Your way unclear/But Your voice still reminds me/that You'll always be here..." - Canto by Jarryd Guerrero

So, put on your hoods graduates of December 2004, and go out into the "real" world!

Be blessed all the days of your life,
Jezz

You found me...

I think I was just thrown into this...it just fell into my lap. Didn't expect it; didn't see it coming...obviously, I'm a bit freaked out about it...about him...not freaked out in a bad way either...I guess freaked out gives a negative connotation. Freaked out in the sense of not being prepared. I don't like to be caught off guard, to not know what's coming up next. I want to be able to see it from afar and prepare for anything and everything. But, sometimes I can't always be prepared. God won't always tell him in advance another element in His plan, and I certainly can't put on my special God-goggles to see those plans for myself.

That's just what happened this time around. I didn't see him coming. I honestly didn't recognize an even remote possibility that someone would jump into my life quite like he did just now...or even while I'm still in college. Nevertheless, he did. I was perfectly happy with letting go of any dating notion and dealing with my "fear of commitment," only to find out that the "fear of commitment" was just a fear of something new, something different. And, he's definitely challenging that...he's challenging my fear of someone new, because he's very new to me in the grand scheme of things. But it's almost as if I've known him forever...isn't that how it usually is? But here's the best part: I've been told to not look. When you least expect it, when you're not looking and actively waiting, there he'll be. And, you won't have to go find him...no...he finds you. That's how it is: he finds you. That's how it's supposed to be. Sure enough, I didn't expect it. And I certainly wasn't looking anymore; I gave up, completely (and cynically) quit to be honest. And that is when, the time that I most definitely least expected it, he showed up.

I think, therein, lies my issue. Because I didn't expect it at all and was prepared to live a while (maybe even forever; yes, I even toyed with that idea) without someone by my side (to be known as "the single one"), I became a bit skeptical...doubts filled my head. Is this really what I want, what I need, and, most importantly, what the Lord has? To be honest, I didn't know what to do; I was flippin' out scared... But, it's all there in front of you, Jesiree. Don't you see it? He's a blessing, a gift...just as he should be...from the Lord Almighty. Don't over-scrutinize it. Don't over-analyze it. But, accept it. Don't miss out this wonderful blessing from the Lord.

So thank you, Nathan, for shaking my world up a bit and not being a part of my plans and my expectations...but being a part of His. Thanks for seeing passed the "old," weird nerd and finding the wanna be rocker and author (among other things)...for finding me. I'm excited to see what the Lord has in store. Thank you for being a blessing.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. " ~Isaiah 55:9
" Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." ~Ephesians 3:20-21

May the Lord bless you and keep you,
Jezz

Eso si que es...

So, now I'm gonna not be a slacker/be a slacker and update now...

I don't think I've ever studied/not studied so much in my life...my brain is definitely on overload...oh but soon, it will be over! Even that in itself is bittersweet, since the day it will all be over is the same day that my friends go home...and then, there's me...in Abilene. Eso si que es.

My Christmas shopping hasn't gotten off the ground yet. I know, sad times...18 days-ish until Christmas, and I've got jack. This could get stressful...oops. Otra vez, eso si que es. I tried to get some of the shopping accomplished this afternoon, but ended up just hanging out doing basically nothing with Nathan...and that's way okay with me too :)

I realized yesterday that it's the little things that God just kind of throws at me that make me smile...that sometimes, or rather most times, I don't need the biggest spiritual revelation or awakening to get me excited about what He's doing or even more importantly, who He is. The warm glow of a Windows XP-blue sky puts some pep in my step every time, not to mention the daily reminders that He is in control and that I need to trust His spirit becasue He knows all...every last detail of my life...guess what? He knows it, He's made it, created it and placed in motion.

"My lips will shout for joy when I sing praise to you- I, whom you have redeemed. My tongue will tell of your righteous acts all day long, for those who wanted to harm me have been put to shame and confusion." ~ Psalm 71:23-24

It's time for Ozbo the clown...ahhh...random

Remember today: you are blessed and highly favored!!!
Jezz

Finals week and whatnot...

So there's a stack of papers...Loose-leaf sheets of college-ruled paper, colorful masterpieces of pink, blue, purple, orange and green, used blue books and scantrons and copies of powerpoint notesall framing the academic concepts and principles surrounding COMMUNICATION LAW... sitting on my desk...all notes that I need to study for my Communication Law final. I will be one happy kid when that's all over.

Wow...Finals week is already upon us?? Apparently so, it's incredible. This semester has flown...and, I must say, despite all my downfalls and the occasional rough times, this was probably my best semester here yet...I have enjoyed it thoroughly! The Lord has definitely blessed me beyond anything I could ever have imagined, and for that, I am truly and forever grateful. The rich blessings of the Lord are beautiful beyond compare...

Gingerbread house building party of fun brought to you by Habitat for Gingermanity...gobs of fun...like uber-fun! Out-of-control gingerbread sleigh and reindeer and fun times with mistletoe, candles and a movie..yay Christmas Social was last night...definitely my favorite social yet, for various reasons...one in particular.

I leave you with this tonight:
"Don't be deceived, my dear brothers. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." ~ Ephesians 1:16-17
All that I have, all that I've (or you've) been given, everything...has been a blessing from Him. It has been specifically designed for me (or you) by the Creator of the universe who desires to bless me and you...in all that we do. He is good, awesome, amazing and worthy of all our praise...

Be blessed in all you do,
Jezz

alpha kai rodeo...

Christmas social was tonight...yay!

I want to make guitars.

so, I'll update some later, but I probably ought to go to bed now...so ya

"Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart...

...If the LORD delights in a man's way,
He makes his steps firm;
though he stumble, he will not fall,
for the LORD upholds him with His hand."
~Psalm 37:3-4; 23-24


Be blessed,
Jezz

An update...

I know...it's about time I updated...

Yesterday the sky was Windows XP blue as I was walking to chapel; it made me happy! It's been a busy last week of the semester before finals...all I have to say is: I'll never have to sit through a Comm Law class again! How exciting is that??? 'Cause it's real exciting to me. Pink week number I'm-not-sure to be completed tomorrow and extended through Saturday, hopefully! I love pink weeks.

Random scripture that reminds me of the awesomess of the Lord Almighty:

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." ~ Ephesians 3:20-21

He's incredible because He's God...it's true.

Off to go see if this caffiene-induced awake-ness will wear off...

Be blessed today in all that you do,
Jezz

YBP retreat fun...

I LOVE Big Purple band kids!!!
So, the annual YBP retreat was this weekend, and I must say, it was beautiful. I definitely worked some muscles that I hadn't worked in quite a while and got my share of bumps and bruises, but it was all worth it.

My random thoughts from this weekend:

I wonder if my class will ever learn that cheaters never prosper... * If you want to miss out on a day or two, just take some benadryl * I can enjoy pick-on-Jesiree time as much as the rest of you * Balloons in the freezer don't freeze, but they do get icky spit crystals * Being attacked and tied up in your own sweatshirt is not cool...who am I kidding? It's actually kinda fun * "If you think male percussionists are hot..." are you kidding me? Who do you think I am...of course! * Just because I'm little doesn't mean I'll shrink * Juniors kick butt at basketball * Teresa didn't fall for Ben, therefore Ben should shave his legs * There should never be a piano in any room at retreat...it's just wrong * ...

Thanksgiving followed by Black Friday this week...oh the joys of retail. Then, next weekend, Christmas Social...yay for Oplin and cowboy hats!!! I'll probably think of something else to say later, but this is it for now.

Be blessed in the Lord in all you do!
With much love,
Jezz

To live for Him...

So Monday night I had an on-call shift (which basically means I have to call before the shift to see if they need me in) at ae. I was hoping and praying that I wouldn't be called in because I had a Comm Law test on Tuesday. I called and, of course, had to go in at 6. Needless to say, I was a little overwhelmed and stressed...almost had a breakdown by the GATA fountain. I got to work that night and worked on shipment for most of the night. I became really upset around 6:30 when there were three of us there, and I felt as though I was the only one really doing work. So, I took my boxes of shipment to the back stockroom and turned the radio on to KGNZ. As I was ripping open plastic bags and sizing women's underwear, I was reminded of Colossians 3:23

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men,"

Ouch...blow to the ego. For the rest of the night, I could not longer dwell upon the fact that I was there, working when I didn't want to be anymore. I couldn't half-heartedly go about work doing only the things my manager would see just to make it look like I was actually accomplishing something. Instead, I had to work for the Lord.

But isn't that how it is in every part of life. We (or at least I do) try to please everyone else, to do things that they'll notice for our own gain. But what does that profit us? What does that bring us in the end? Only a sensitive ego that has to be fed every six minutes or so...and who needs that?

So I'm challenging myself to live every day...every moment...as though I'm living it for the King. After all, He's the only one we should be trying to please. Colossians 3:24 goes on to say:

"since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

That sums it all up, I guess. To Him be the glory forever and ever!

Be blessed today and always,
Jezz

Rainy days and Mondays...

So, this rain...it's killing me. I'm just not a fan of the dreariness, the wetness and the dirtiness that results from the rain. Not to mention, the uncontrollable weather-related mood shifts. I hate them...I want to be in a good mood, but the stinkin' sun doesn't shine for a few days, and it's like I don't know what pure joy is. But, the things is, I do know what pure joy is. The emotional/spiritual undulation that results from the gray skies is nothing more than the clouding of my view - the forgetting of what is true and real. You see, when I get like this, I usually am forgetting the fact that the Lord should be the source of my joy. I'm forgetting that He is my strength and my song and that He rejoices over me in singing...that's awesome! Granted, it's still rather difficult for me to get through the dreary days. But to be reminded that there's something (someone) greater than the clouds above me and higher than the heights that seem to close me in...that's when I can be thankful - be joyful.

To not get lost in my puddles of self-pity, self-doubt and yuckiness...

Be blessed today in all you do!
Jezz